I think I’m really too much.
Life has been good so far, really.
But at this point of time,
I wish I had a Boyfriend Crisis
to let me feel more pain and hurt.
Probably to make to feel more Alive.
Nowadays, it had been all smiles and laughter
albeit the two days of vomit and one week of headache.
When things get too easy,
I get too uneasy
It’s an omen, a very bad omen.
Jing said today
That when one doesn’t have a boyfriend,
One find more Best Friends.
It is definitely an much avoided issue,
in terms of being practical or in acceptance.
Most of us would have realise, in the race of life,
We have lost somebody close, very very close, at least once, to this thing called Love.
By Love, I mean, BoyGirl Love.
People who are attached, try to avoid doing this.
People who KNOW people who are attached, avoid admitting this.
You feel it, and you know it.
You have grown distant from your previously close ones.
Or your Closed One had grown distant from you.
But at the same time,
You don’t blame anybody.
You just look at it happening and wonder what you could do to salvage it.
A few calls to go out,
A few hints on the need to bond,
The blatant displeasure.
We give up, as time goes by.
In the end, it is inevitably realised that
perhaps it is better to leave things that way.
Why make each others’ lives more awkward than it is already is,
and perhaps acceptance and letting go would make it much more better.
To hate, is to hurt yourself. Why hate?
Why harbour discontent?
I could never answer that question anyway.
In several HTHT (quote unquote Yijun) with Kelyn,
We have probed, touched, kicked the issue of Boyfriends Vs. Family.
I have openly declared, Family comes first
and WHATEVER happens, nothing is gonna change.
But then again, it is MY opinion isn’t it?
I shouldnt enforced it or use it to implement any expectations.
Others have their way of showing love and concern,
and being shadowed by a coloured tinted shades, targetted recipients might not receive it.
I have on hand, a very evident evidence of what acceptance and allowance could reward you with.
A Happier Brother and Late Night Mahjong Sessions.
And now, whats on hand, is an acceptance of another change by another Family Member.
I hope it would not be too late
And I’m glad that he had not given way under much circumstances
I can’t promise less bitchings,
just maybe more void in my heart made to condone issues
Close one Eye or maybe two.
Ultimately, he has to move on with his life, get a family.
And this family won’t be mine, just selfishly his.
So what gives me the right to be selfish now?
Smiling could solve much problems,
I’m very much enlightened.
Matriculation tomorrow and I’m awkwardly nervous :|
どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう？
どうして・君を好きになってしまったんだろう？
どんなに時が流れても君はずっと
ここにいると思ってたのに
でも君が選んだのは違う道
どうして・・・君に何も伝えられなかったんだろう？
毎日毎晩募ってく想い
溢れ出す言葉 解っていたのに（もう届かない）
初めて出会ったその日から君を知っていた気がしたんだ
あまりに自然に溶け込んでしまったふたり
何処へ行くのにも一緒で君がいることが当然で
僕らはふたりで大人になってきた
でも君が選んだのは違う道
どうして・・・君を好きになってしまったんだろう？
どんなに時が流れても君はずっと
ここにいると思ってたのに（もう叶わない）
特別な意味を持つ今日を 幸せがあふれ出す今日を
綺麗な姿で神様に誓ってる君を
僕じゃない人の隣で 祝福されてる姿を
僕はどうやって見送ればいいのだろう？
もうどうして・・・君を好きになってしまったんだろう？
あの頃の僕らの事を（もう戻れない）
考えた・・・（もう戻らない）考えた・・・
どうして・・・君の手を掴み奪えなかったんだろう？
どんなにときが流れても君はずっと
僕の横にいるはずだった（もう叶わない）
それでも・・・君が僕のそば 離れていっても
永遠に君が幸せであること ただ願ってる
（例えそれがどんなに寂しくても）
辛くても・・・
Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed,
I thought that you would always be here
But you have chosen a different road
Why wasn’t I able to convey to you?
My feelings that were growing everyday and night
The words begin to overflow
But I know they won’t reach you now
From the first day that I met you
I felt like I knew you
And the two of us melded together so naturally
Wherever we would go, it would be together
It was so natural for you to be with me
We became adults together
But you chose a different road
Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed,
I thought that you would always be here (but not anymore)
Today, the day that holds a special meaning
The day that you stood with a smile of happiness
Praying to God in your beautiful appearance
With the person next to you who isn’t me
The image of you receiving blessings
How could I just stand aside and watch
So why did I end up falling for you?
We can’t go back to that time, or how we were (I’ve thought it through)
Why wasn’t I able to take your hand?
No matter how much time passes
You always should’ve been by my side
Now it will never come true
But, even though I say that I need you close to me
I just pray that you will be happy forever
No matter how lonely that makes me (or how sad)
):
