everything will be okay.

that is what i keep telling myself.

when my luggage was lost in Oslo,
when the wind blow so hard i though the house is gonna fall,
when the wind blow so hard and mav and I wanted to pee so bad,
when i fell down three times on the snow and i don’t know how to walk around anymore
when my camera refuse to on
when my iphone refuse to on
when my sis lost her phone (for a moment)
when she lost her bus ticket
when she thought she lost a huge bulk of her money

just to name a few.

but now..
i’m so damn devastated. like so bloddy damn devastated.
my phone swam in water for about a few minutes
and when i got back i was so anxious i did the worst thing that could ever be done – plug in the power.
although now i’m soaking it in the rice,
i’m pretty sure that it is dead. really dead.

and the thing about living in paris is that the only people you can turn to are people who can only speak french
and are mean. most of the time.
how am i going to beg my way to a repaired phone?

and i really don’t wanna replace my phone and to download everything again.

maybe the fengshui master was right.
i shouldn’t have travelled this year.
everywhere i go was plagued with bad weather, and bad incidents.
despite the little blessings that I found along the way
there is always something going wrong that i constantly need to worry about.

it has probably been two weeks since i last had a good sleep.

and now whilst worrying for my phone
i’m worrying about death
i’m worrying about japan
i’m worrying about my sis not enjoying her time here because i’m such a bad host
i’m worrying about my essay due tomorrow
i’m worrying.
i’m worrying.

everything will be okay, mych.

the thing is i have grown so reliant on my phone (ironically i saw the post on ron’s blog which said something similar)
that i dont know what to do without it.
it is my survival kit when i’m all alone in school
it is probably my only way of connecting with my friends
and my mum

and the thing is that idk what to do.
i dont know how to repair the stupid phone or what to do if it is really spoilt.
i can’t buy a stupid iphone here because of all the jailbreak stuff
i dont know if it can be repaired.

on a random note i think i’m gonna fail all my subjects.

i wish i’m happier
and i am because my sis is here
but my mind is filled with so much other worries
that i hate myself for worrying about

i can’t keep calm &

i just can’t let things go.

I so badly want to call my mum
and ask her what to do
because i am dependent this way.
but my sis said ‘why bother mummy if she can’t do anything about it. make her worry only what’.
and im refraining myself (so hard) from getting to the phone and calling her and crying

btw cheryl! if you are reading this, i’m so sorry for delaying payment. will pay you really really soon!